That's an absolute scream!
"Benny, what are you doing out there in the rain?"
Angry teacher: "Why are you so late?"
Lazy pupil: "Well, I saw the sign in the street that said 'School - ahead - go slow'!"
Teacher: "Johnny, who gave you that black eye?"
Johnny: "Nobody gave it to me. I had to fight for it."
Were your parents married before you were born?
Yes, my father was married, my mother was not.
"Who is your favourite author, Bill?"
"What does he write?"